My mantra!

My seventh baby, #babycate, is 12 days old  today.  I promised myself while she was still baking in my belly that I would not mourn her milestones as I did with her big brother, Baby #6.  I would fight against the quicksand trap of being sad at each growth spurt and accomplishment.  Instead, I would revel in her developments and rejoice that each day she would be that much stronger!!!

Why do we have babies unless we want them to survive babyhood and become feisty toddlers, then cuddly preschoolers, curious children, and ambitious young people!  This focus on “losing” our babies once they start maturing is a heartbreaking and counter productive mentality.  Instead, join me in my mantra for this baby and all of your babies as well : “I can’t wait to see who YOU become!”  This is a healthy view of our children that will lead to less sadness as they grow, and more joy in the fact that they HAVE grown!  Let us pack away their infant clothes with happy tears, and let us mark their height on the wall with joyful smiles that our babies have had yet another growth spurt!  For as much as I adore the newborn phase and want to bottle Cate’s sweet breath to save for later, she WILL grow up, and I WILL not fall into the trap of bereaving my very much alive child.

Repeat with me “I can’t wait to see who YOU become!”

*happy babywearing*

6 thoughts on “My mantra!

  1. Amen! Jillian, you are an amazing mother and I look forward to seeing WHO Cate becomes. Take each day at a time and relish in her successes and milestones. Better to let them grow up and be in amazement at who they are becoming, than to miss out on the special times, because of sadness.

  2. Jillian! I agree completely! I remember visiting with a friend when baby #1 was turning 1. I told her I was sad and wanted to stop and freeze life forever. My friend Julie is a mother of 2 biological children and one adoptive son, who sadly has a lot of special needs. She knew of his needs when he came to them and she has embraced their new family life. She told me that she used to get sad watching her children grow too. She understood where I was coming from. She then told me that there is no greater reward. She now has a child that is frozen in time. As he technically ages, he is still a baby with constant need of parenting and caretaking. She said that children’s growth is our reward for the hard work we do and we are lucky to be able to see then live their dreams. We are the catalyst in supporting their abilities and our children deserve that. I’m with you, let’s celebrate their growth in all forms, perhaps it is our greatest reward!

  3. I read this blog post when you had first put it out there and this morning I woke up an knew I needed to read it again. And here I am, having re-read it, and it helps me center and focus because I do mourn how fast my kids grow and that THIS time is THE time I get with them. After I had my daughter I saved everything. I mean everything of hers because I was clinging to that tiny baby. After my son was born and needed a NICU stay (through no previous warning signs) I realized, clinging to stuff and time wont accomplish anything. Because during his NICU stay all I could think of was “grow one more day, one more day and we will be out of here love”, 2 weeks later, and 2 weeks old, I finally got to hold my son. I wont lie, I felt robbed of his first 2 weeks, but in those 2 weeks I sat by his side every second I could and said “grow one more day” so now at nearly 6 months old I look at him and think, wow you are going to make me so proud one day, I cannot wait to see who HE becomes with each passing day! <3

  4. I love this! I had my baby #6 just days after your baby Cate was born – and knowing he is my last has been a weird mindset to juggle – delighting in each moment but also feeling like it is flying by ‘too fast’ – so I love this, excited to see who he will become and how God will use this precious life to glorify Him!

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