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It is with an overflowing heart and joyful song that I am writing this blog post! As each of my babies has been born and grows so quickly into a small person, I wonder, “Is this my last baby? Will this be the last time I experience the wonderment of birth, the satisfaction of bringing new life into the world, and the plethora of firsts that come along with a new soul here on earth?!?!” After #babycate was born, 28 months ago, I felt a deep sadness that I talked of frequently; I tried to assuage my depression with the thought “I can’t wait to see who you become.” And after time, I was able to focus more and more positively on that mantra. As much as I wanted to be pregnant again, to hold my own newborn in my arms again, to watch another of my own babies grow and thrive and flourish under my constant care, I understood that if Cate were truly my last, I could be content with my seven amazing children. What else could I possibly want? Last week, that question was answered. Just One More Baby.
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I have learned so much about mourning and grieving the children I currently mother every day all day. All the reasons I should not and will not again fall down that rabbit hole of sadness. This pregnancy and birth and baby may absolutely be my LAST, but I will rejoice at each milestone, at each inch grown, and at each step taken! I will not again allow myself to be tortured by the might, probably and maybes that sneak into my head. This could absolutely be the last baby I carry in my womb and birth from my own strength, but that is okay! Because I trust that everything that might and could happen, will. That everything that is supposed and predestined, will. That nothing is an accident. That there is a reason for everything. And this, Baby #8 aka #JustOneMoreBabyD, is the absolute consequence in trusting, believing, and allowing life to happen as it should.
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Congrats Mama. I can’t wait to see what becomes of #BabyDavidsson8
What joy I have for you and Aaron! So many things you’ve said have struck a chord in my own life. “Whatever is supposed to be, will be!” <my new motto! Many blessings to you and your family ???? Congratulations!
We are at the point in our lives where we won’t have another and my first bio baby was my only and each milestone is so special and causes me to live in the moment. They teach us to slow down and pay attention in a hectic world. Blessings on you and your beautiful family!
I can definitely relate to some of this. But, you are very young to say it may be your last!! I had #7 when I was 36, #8 at 38. I’d like to think there are more to be born too. =) We can all surely be more grateful for what we do have in the present.