PAXbaby is celebrating Valentine’s Day with 13 days of Peace & Love leading up to the big HEART day itself! The next to last day of our blogging adventure, and we turn back to our families. The PAXbaby family is a big one, and we found a blogging mama with a heart of gold who is fostering to adopt (although what she really wrote about is how much she loves her hubby who jumped wholeheartedly into the adventures). Read on!

Big families don’t just happen by chance you know… there has to be a will, a want, and a “why not” attitude! In a culture where having 1.8 children is the norm, driving a 5 seater car is average, and going on 1 vacation a year is the minimum, a family the size of mine is considered to be a zoo! Imagine seeing me walking to the park in YOUR hometown! Frazzled, but smiling, ever smiling, mother with a baby strapped to her back & 2 kids holding onto the sides of the over-loaded double stroller chock-o-block full of 2 more kids, supplies, snacks, and extra clothes, supplies, and snacks *just in case!*

My mom often remarks that we look like a Volkswagon full of clowns when we emerge from our mini van! Child after child, piling out onto the sidewalk! We have the blonde one, the redhead one, the towhead one, the dark one, and the whispy baby! We have shouting, laughing, crying, and whining! We have needs, wants, and demands all needing mommy’s attention at the same time! We have a lost shoe, a forgotten bike, a book to be read, a book to read, and a million questions about why kites go up in the air, but sometimes don’t ever come back down! We have paint on our cheeks, clay in our hair, and “what is that on the back of your dress, Mommy?” We have the ones who only eat peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, and those who only eat peanut butter with NO jelly sandwiches, the ones who request no crusts, and the ones who will eat real food! We have the sweet one, the feisty one, the cranky one, the confused one, and the bossy one! We have the adoring big sister, the helpful big brother, the silly little sister, the funny little brother, and the baby who everyone will baby until the next baby comes along! We have the one who has to pick out their own clothes, the one who will wear anything whether it matches or not, the one who will only wear pink, the one who will match whatever his big brother is wearing, and the one who really would rather just be naked! We have love in our hearts, spring in our step, songs on our lips, and a twinkle in our eye as we plan for our next baby because let’s face it, any family who dares to go against the grain and have more than the token 2 children, LOVES babies!

Other kids had lofty goals: Nasa astronaut, doctor beyond borders,hot shot Hollywood actress… me? I wanted to be a mom! More specifically, a mom of 8 kids!!!! In 8th Grade, we were asked to present a report on our “life plan”. Mine detailed very carefully that I wanted to meet a boy, marry this boy, and live happily ever after! With 8 kids!!!!
Well, 5 down, 3 to go, with a happy husband in tow!

When we met, he was planning to finish his 4 year enlistment in the Air Force and get out, go home to south Florida, and join the family business (if nothing else came along).

My mom told me to have him stay in… and here we are. He’s been in 8 years now and planning for a full 20 at least.

He thought we would be like everyone else and get on birth control pills to “plan” when we wanted to start a family. I informed him otherwise… His dad laughed at us and claimed “the rhythm method” never works and we’d end up pregnant right away (we didn’t use the rhythm method, FYI, just mostly fertility awareness). Turns out that the entire point was “moo” (as Joey from Friends would say).

So after trying to get pregnant for a year and a half (or so), hubby rather reluctantly jumped through all the hoops a reproductive endocrinologist puts couples through when their fertility is in question. When we got the oh so helpful diagnosis of “unexplained infertility”, my thoughts went in many different directions at once..

Which brought me to the idea of foster to adopt. And of course, hubby came along too. He got completely on board with it, but I know he just thought it was another crazy idea in the beginning. Then we got to convince our families that adoption isn’t just an option for “those people who are called to it” (how exactly do “those people’s” families decide that they are called or not, I’d like to know?) and get them on board not only with grandchildren that were not genetically related, but also of any possible race, gender, and not necessarily a baby at the time of adoption.

After the adoption roller coaster started, my life seemed to split into two passions: parenting (in an attachment sort of way) and simple living (as in gardening, cheesemaking, and basically doing whatever we can for ourselves instead of paying others to do it).

My wonderful husband has now dug up a good sized patch in the back yard for my heirloom veggies and a nice sized strip of our front lawn too! Why grow grass- grow food!

He’s also learned to put a baby in a wrap and do yard work at the same time. He’s still often wary of joining in conversations with friends from La Leche League, but admitted to wanting to ask a very pregnant co-worker about her birth and baby feeding plans! He just didn’t know how to bring the subject up. This is my husband, the man who was completely weirded out the first time he met my family…. my 2.5 year old baby brother was nursing on the couch watching a movie with us. 🙂

So yes. My mostly manly husband is now a babywearing, organic gardening, lactivist that subscribes to Hobby Farms magazine and can’t wait for the farmer’s market to open back up!